Mama, Me

 

My children are alive.

I’m doing okay.

Some days they even thrive.

Hip hip hooray!

Most days they laugh and smile.

I’m succeeding in some way.

They make me laugh too,

every single day.

Sometimes they fight,

but I have some sway.

Sometimes they hug,

and I get my way.

They’ll have rough days,

that might lead them astray.

They’ll have adventures,

that might take them away.

But I am their Mama,

my heart knows no bounds.

Our souls intertwined,

forever we’ll stay.

xxo

C

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Baby J

 

 

O x 7

Seven. SEVEN? WHAAAAT? How? When? A minute ago he was turning one. Waddle walking around and climbing onto the couch. Now he’s seven. Running, jumping, parkouring off of my furniture seven!

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All of the science says that 6 is a big year. Their brains go through a huge change. Who they really are starts to come through. Some books call it the first puberty. Now that I’ve experienced it, I’d say that’s accurate. O isn’t a completely different person than he was last year but he’s certainly a more multi-faceted creature. There are more layers, more moving parts. He has deeper thoughts and bigger opinions now. One of those opinions is that he doesn’t want to and doesn’t have to. ‘What?’ you ask? Depends on the day or moment! School work, going outside to play, eating ice cream! There doesn’t seem to be a rhyme or reason and I think that throws a lot of parents for a loop, but here’s the thing: we’re all like that! There is no reason, it’s just a human thing. He’s a human, and every day he’s just trying to suss out what that entails.

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O is a really good dude. He’s fun, funny, kind, and caring. He loves playing with his siblings, is an excellent helper, and adores when his cousins visit. He’s hesitant about trying new things like putting his face in the water at the pool, or washing his hair in the shower by himself, but he’s learning about bravery and how it’s not about fearlessness, it’s about thinking it through and then doing the right thing in the face of fear. He’s understanding larger concepts now and is getting better at engaging in conversations (although he is still the  master of soliloquies and monologues!).

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Super Into

Minecraft: All day, everyday, always, forever. The bulk of his monologues are Minecraft related.

YouTube: Go ahead and guess what kind of YouTube videos he prefers? Yeah, Minecraft. I mean, come on!

Savoury Foods: He likes candy and cake like anybody but he’d walk away 3 bites in if he felt like it. He really likes savoury. He’s always been a broccoli guy, but recently he’s been upping his pallet game for things he didn’t care for previously like onions and veggie lasagna. He’s always been a BBQ sauce over Ketchup kind of kid.

Role Play: Acting out characters is big for him right now. It helps that G is a consummate actor and E has an excellent imagination and flare for costumes, so they can play pretend for ages. He enjoys make-believe and that fills my heart.

Lego: This kid is all about that Master Builder life! He loves putting together the kits as well as creating his own. Bricks, Batman, video games, Lego has got O covered. He loves all of it.

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Becoming a parent makes you really think about what kind of life you want to lead. The kind of person you want to be. The kind of example you want to lead by. Having him, kicked off this amazing adventure. He is the driving force behind our life outside the box. Our fiery Aries, with his big personality and quick temper. With his quick tears and larger than life joy.

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To you, my O, my Monster, my burning heart, I dream you’ll have a life of adventure. That you’ll remember to use safety gear while diving in with both feet (which you will do even when you’re scared.) I wish you friends that have your back and love that fills your heart. I hope you are always as empathetic as you are right now and that you never stop wearing your heart on your sleeve. I wish you the strength and perseverance to stand up for what’s right and fight for those that can’t. I hope that your life is full of magic and light and that your childhood bolsters you against the naysayers. You are a believer, a wizard, a beacon. I hope those qualities stay and grow with you. Above all else I hope you feel loved.

Because I love you hotter than the sun my love.

Call me anytime you need. Night or day. 2am. Whenever. I’ll be right here. Always.

xxo

C

 

Goodbye Baby, Hello Threenager!

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Baby G is no more. She is, officially, a Threenager. It’s been about 5 days and she’s already changing so much. Her sentences have really expanded in the last few days, and her pronunciation has sharpened. To some that may sound trivial, but most parents know how drastic that can feel. These are the years when a toddler can go through a cranky, achy, feverish growth spurt and come out the other side 100 years older! (Or so it feels.)

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She still seems so small to me though. She’s always been a tiny sprite. Fairy-like, bouncing from petal to petal, riding the breeze. Maybe it’s just because O and E are beasts! G is small but she is a force to reckon with. It is the batting of her beautiful wings that starts many a tornado.

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G isn’t our loudest, but she is our most animated. Ever the actress she is prone to the angriest tantrums (read: semi-hilarious rage planks) but with big emotions comes big love and big joy. Big smiles and big hugs. She loves pretend play, whether it be with toys or siblings. G is also weirdly good at pantomime. If she offers you a pretend snack from an imaginary plate, you believe it! She would be an excellent Lost Boy. Bangarang!

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You know those great kid-adventure movies from our childhoods? The Goonies, Hook, The Challengers (Canadian content!), E.T, basically any movie where they get on their bikes (hockey stick on the back possibly included) and just ride off on an adventure that would make their mothers sweat? Yeah, that’s G. She’s one of those kids. She’s Mickey arm in arm with Data, skipping down the hill to the Lighthouse Lounge without a care in the world! I hope she never loses this sense of adventure. I’ll sweat it out if I have to.

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G keeps me on my toes. O and E are different, but similar in many ways. G is in a league of her own. Sometimes I think she was built solely to put E in her place. She takes no shit from her big sister. E’s personality is huge. She is loud and chatty and exuberant and bossy. G is a scrapper. She will not be quieted, spoken over, ignored. She will not be taken advantage of. I love that! Although those traits sometimes drive me nuts, I know they will serve her in life and I know that they teach E some valuable lessons on sharing, kindness, and team work.

To my tiny sprite, my adventurous pixie, I wish you a lifetime of warm breezes to ride on. A plethora of adventures and good people to enjoy them with. I hope you feel loved and give love freely. I hope you keep  your fire and fight and use them appropriately. I hope you soar. I will be here (sometimes sweating) to catch you if needs be and provide you a safe place to land.

And even though you just said that “daddy is my best fwend not youse!” I love you hotter than the sun my love.

Happy Birthday

xxo

C

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Jenson Baird

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January 8th, 2016

5:30am– Contractions start. 2.5 minutes apart. (As usual!) I leave a message on the midwives pager system. She returns my call within’ minutes. She’s at the hospital with a woman who’s water broke the night before but hadn’t progressed. She’s on her way but she’s also dispatching a back-up.

The kids are awake now. B takes them downstairs to watch cartoons and eat cereal. I quickly re-iterate to O that if he hears me scream or anything it just means I’m trying to get his baby brother out, and that I would be fine. I know he’d take it the hardest if he heard too much. (He heard nothing! I didn’t really make any loud sounds until the last 2 minutes and even then it wasn’t yelling or screaming. That’s not really how I roll, but I just wanted  to prepare him in case.)

6:30am– My midwife, Lez, arrives (before the back-up). She sets up (in minutes) what can only be described as “an emergency room in a bag”. She’s so prepared for anything. She uses our bedside table to make an emergency resuscitation station!

I walk around, picking up Lego’s from around my bedroom as I go. Cloud Cuckoo Land is scattered everywhere.

The back-up, Stacey, arrives. I’m ready to get this thing done. She can’t believe it!

7am– Jenson Baird Lazecky

He’s on my chest. Skin to skin. He looks like a tiny cranky old man, just like his brother did. He’s perfect.

*Lez managed to make it back to the hospital in time to deliver that first babe, and then another after that! She’s amazing, and Stacey stayed with us for 2 hours from the birth to make sure we settled well. She also returned in the afternoon to check on us again.

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Midwifery Care

I’m not going to bash on hospital care, because my experiences weren’t bad. They were alright. This though, this experience was pretty great. Lez and Jeanette (my Midwife team) are amazing people. Honest, upfront, knowledgeable, and caring. They give you all of the information and options and then allow you (with guidance) to make your own care decisions. They care about your health, your baby, and your birth experience. My OB (in our hometown) barely even saw me. He was super nice, but in the end, his nurse ran everything and someone else from his care circle was in hospital for all 3 of my deliveries. These ladies want to help you and they will do what it takes. Hospital, home, even joint care with another care provider if there are complications or multiples.

Two things I truly loved about the ‘wives is their openness with the children. They were wonderful about answering questions and not shying away from technical terms for body parts. Lez has a giant board book that shows the baby growing that she showed them on our first visit, and Jeanette has a doll and hip bone replica that she showed the kids how to pull the baby through. So funny, but also so sweet and educational. The second thing is the aftercare home visits. They don’t expect you to haul yourself and your infant out in the freezing winter the next day to go to 5 minute appointments. They are happy to come to your home. (Mainly because they want to spy on you and ensure that you’re actually relaxing, healing, nursing, and not running yourself ragged trying to be a supermom!) They came back multiple times because his weight was slipping a bit (he’s already a beast now at 1 month so don’t worry!) It really cuts down on that post-delivery exhaustion.

Home Birth

THE BEST! I’m a healthy person. I had a healthy pregnancy, plus 3 healthy pregnancies before that, so home birth was definitely an option. Since I nearly had Grey in the hospital parking lot (luckily making it into the ER!) home birth seemed like a no brainer. I did not want to risk having this baby in a snowbank. Everything about it was easier than I even expected. Really. Minimal mess, minimal clean-up, my own bed, my own towels, my own bathroom, temperature control, real/warm blankets, my own family. I got to sleep when he slept and not listen to hospital noise (which is never ending!). I felt so good. Right away. It was amazing.

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Overall (minus travelling to the next town over because there is NOTHING in our town) this whole experience has been a great one. A fitting end to the Pregnancy chapter of my life.

xxo

C

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“How long did you have contractions for before you called?” asked Lez

I replied ” Maybe 10 minutes. I timed a few and then brushed my teeth.” 

“You brushed your teeth? You didn’t have to do that for us.”

” I had to do it for me… because ew!”

 

 

 

The Littlest Big Girl

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There’s a thing that happens when a tiny new babe enters your life. The one you had before instantly doubles in size. They are suddenly heavier, taller, smarter. The warm baby fuzz that surrounds them seems to dissipate and there they are as clear as day. Gigantic!

Every. Single. Time.

Baby G is so tiny. She’s a tiny sprite. Wild wisps of hair, and glittering blue eyes. She’s light as a feather and warm and fuzzy. Or so it seems. I can see her real self poking out though. The lines are getting crisper. She’s very vocal now. She can reach things she couldn’t before. She pees on the potty (most of the time;). I can feel the fuzz dissipating and I’m not ready.

Next month her brother will be here. He will be teeny. He will be weightless. He will be surrounded in fuzz. It will be minutes or maybe half an hour before she comes barreling in. She will be her usual self. She won’t know how different she is. When she scale’s the side of our bed all by herself, and walks, on her own, over to me. When she curls up beside me and gazes at that new fuzzy bundle. When she asks who he is, and what his name is, and why he’s on her Mama. Because she can say those words and ask those questions now. And I will see her so clearly that it will make my eyes water.

I’m not ready. I wasn’t when it happened to O. I wasn’t when it happened to E. I’m savouring every moment because soon, too soon, we will both be in a new phase.

xxo

C

Lazy Days of Summer

I’m terrible at blogging in the summer. The days are long and lazy. Something in the sunshine fuels my daydreams but not my creativity. Not like the crisp of Autumn, which fuels my mind and hands.

So what have we been up to for the last three months? What has filled our humid summer days? Let me show you, with some great and less great phone and camera photo’s!

There were walks

There were walks

and runs

 runs

and scooters

 scooters

and candy treats

 candy treats

and swimming!

and swimming!

Picnics

Picnics

and parachutes

 parachutes

and sprinklers

 sprinklers

and swimming!

and swimming!

There was backyard cherry picking

There was backyard cherry picking

stick collecting

stick collecting

and gardening

gardening

and hamming!

and hamming!

There were popsicles

There were popsicles

and watermelons

 watermelons

and racecars

 racecars

and thumbs ups!

and thumbs ups!

There were tiny Canadians

There were tiny Canadians

Canada Daying it up!

Canada Daying it up!

Chip trucks

Chip trucks

sidewalk chalk

sidewalk chalk

big trees

big trees

and big cones!

and big cones!

Did I mention scooting

Did I mention scooting

and scooting

and scooting

and cousins scooting

and cousins scooting

and other cousins scooting?

and other cousins scooting?

What about swimming

What about swimming

and swimming

and swimming

and swimming

and swimming

and post swim snacks?

and post swim snacks?

Sun shining walks

Sun shining walks

and sun shining naps.

and sun shining naps.

Batkids

Batkids

bike rides

bike rides

and birthday girls!

and birthday girls!

We even had time for watermelon pops

We even had time for watermelon pops

park hangs

park hangs

and a trip to the National Air Force Museum!

and a trip to the National Air Force Museum!

So there you have it. Barely a word written but a summer well spent! One week until we jump into our second year of homeschool and my favourite and most inspiring season!

How was your summer? Are you excited for the Autumn? Are you ready for back-to-school?

xxo

C

Babies Be Nappin’

IMG_2219 I see and hear a lot of parents getting overwhelmed (especially at the beginning) about nap time. They heard all of these horror stories about poor sleep schedules and routines gone awry, They read all of these books that paint beautiful pictures and bolster unrealistic expectations. And when it fails, all that strict routine, all that imagined ease, you’re left feeling guilty. Why won’t your baby sleep on cue? Why won’t they sleep for 3 hours every afternoon, without fail, in their assigned cage?

I’ll tell you why: BABIES DO NOT GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK! Yeah, I said it! That’s the truth people don’t tell you. Babies don’t care. They don’t KNOW that the box you assigned them is where you’d like them to sleep. What they know is that it’s not you. It’s not near you. It doesn’t smell or sound like you. It’s exile. You had the audacity to evict them from your insides, now you want them to sleep in Siberia? Do you see how you’re the problem? They didn’t ask for this. You did!

Now I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m certainly not saying all babies are the same, but in my personal experience, less is more. Did I sometimes go to bed with a sore back from baby carrying all day? Sure. Did I get everything I wanted done during the day? Hell yes! Because my baby was (all be it strapped to my chest) sleeping soundly. Did my kids pass out on the floor? Yup! Did they cry themselves to sleep? NOPE! Did they learn to sleep in their stroller? Yes. Did I have to schedule our entire lives around nap times? No. Did I have a few frustrating days sprinkled over the last five years due to cranky babies and weird nap times? Of course, but when that happens I can handle it, because I never had unrealistic expectations. I’ll tell you this though, they settle. They find their own rhythm. They start to fall asleep at the same time everyday, and they sleep soundly because they have no fear or stress from the struggle.

My kids are professional couch nappers.

Now, I’m not saying this will work for you and yours. I’m not. What I’m saying is that if you are that Mama (Or Daddy too) who’s mind full of books, and blogs, and mean Facebook comments, feels a tinge/wave of guilt every time you rock that toddler to sleep, nurse that babe in your arms, watch them curl up on the floor while you try desperately to down your coffee while it’s still hot, it’s okay. YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT!

You’ve got this! Tell your stupid brain to shut the front door, and trust your Mama heart! She knows them better than you do. She was in proximity longer and had nothing better to do but supervise their construction. Take a breath. Take a beat. Remember that all they want is you, and how beautiful that is. Some days it may feel like you and your babe are running on fumes, but even that will run out. Don’t make it harder on yourself than you have to.

Once they’re out (and I promise you it will happen, sooner or later) get your coffee, stand in front of your sunniest window (or on the front steps, or out on the balcony) and just take a minute. Three deep breaths, with your eyes closed. You’ve got this. You do.

Because no matter how long they hold out, how hard they struggle and fight, how loud they might cry? Eventually, inevitably,

babies be nappin’…

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C

As a side note, think about how glorious it is when you have nothing to do and you fall asleep on the couch, basking in the sun streaming in the window. Why would you deny anyone else that glory?